A chef pens a note on suicide

(TFC) – O, suicide.

Great takers of lives, silencer of so many unanswered questions.

Hard, uncomfortable truth? People die every day. Lots of them do. So why don’t we pay more attention to those less well known? Well, lovability goes hand in hand with your popularity apparently. Which is why no one recognized when your uncle offed himself, but they surely commented on how some fashion designer recently offed herself and then most definitely made a facebook post about everyone’s beloved, snarky, honest and most true form of chef.

Chefs across the nation, and let’s be real- the world over identify with him. He was the most accurate representation of our lives and livelihood, to date. I remember reading his first book, 3 years into my career as a chef, and marvelling at how true it all really was. If you hadn’t experienced what he was talking about, don’t worry- it’s coming. I’m serious.

So why are these characters we’ve built up on a pedestal so much more important than the “normies”? Can I tell you something? They are not. And you know this. Yet, we still ignore the gas station attendant, McDonald’s employee, and verbally (sometimes physically) abuse everyone who works in customer service. Our fellow humans who walk this life congruent to our own, who have ZERO direct impact on our lives but DESERVE to have their existence verified, accepted, and be on the receiving end of some very basic love.

Basic love isn’t really basic. It’s a practice. The very best person to start with is you. It’s wearing a smile when you see yourself in the mirror. Its being honest with yourself, and listening to your body say enough is enough when it aches from all the places. Rest. Please, please rest. Take a break. Don’t literally kill your body, mind and soul by trudging on, despite all those warnings to STOP.

How do you tell someone you’ve never met, never built any sort of relationship with that you love them? Sometimes showing love is as simple as basic recognition. ‘I like your shoes.’ ‘Your hair is fly.’ Or, ‘Damn, dude, that shirt/dress/skirt looks AMAZING on you!’ Or OMG I LOVE YOU because of a skip in line, access to the bathroom, etc. Just be Fucking kind. It’s really not that hard. Greatest other secrets- it gets easier the more you practice.

I think the key to suicide prevention is not have the folks who are feeling suicidal reach out. Because let’s not kid ourselves; when we get to that lowest of low is when we need others need to reach out the most. Those who have had them know- but in case you didn’t know- the simplest act of kindness can be the very last thing that saves our lives.. Say hey. I’ve missed your face. Your make-up looks pretty today. For fuck’s sake, just make eye contact and smile. It’s that damn simple.

If you made it this far, know that I love you.

Jessica Fuchs
A human with an awareness of the human condition